Lessons from "Dare to Lead" by Brené Brown

What if I told you… that everything you thought about leadership was a lie? That the strongest leaders aren’t the ones who have all the answers… but the ones who dare to admit they don’t?

Leadership has long been painted as a battlefield—a place where only the toughest survive, where emotions are liabilities, and where power is wielded like a sword. But what if leadership isn’t about armor… but about the courage to take it off?

Imagine a general standing on the front lines—not behind walls, not barking orders from a high tower, but in the trenches, sleeves rolled up, admitting, “I don’t know all the answers, but I’m here to figure it out with you.”

Now, think about the leaders you admire. Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Satya Nadella… Were they the loudest in the room? The most untouchable? No. They were the ones who embraced their own imperfections, who leaned into discomfort, who understood that trust isn’t demanded—it’s earned.

In today’s world, leadership isn’t about being fearless. It’s about being brave enough to be vulnerable. And that, my friends, is exactly what Brené Brown uncovered in Dare to Lead—one of the most groundbreaking explorations of modern leadership.

This isn’t your typical business book about corporate strategy or executive power moves. This is about human leadership—the kind that builds trust, inspires loyalty, and fuels real innovation. It’s about the small, seemingly insignificant moments that separate leaders people follow from leaders people fear.

THE MYTH OF FEARLESS LEADERSHIP 

Let’s talk about fearless leadership.

For decades, we’ve been fed the same story—leaders are fearless. Leaders are unshakable. Leaders are the ones who never show weakness, never hesitate, never second-guess themselves.

And let’s be honest… it’s a great story. A leader who never flinches? Who charges forward with unrelenting confidence? It’s inspiring. It’s cinematic. It’s… complete nonsense.

The truth? Fearless leadership doesn’t exist.

No human being—no matter how powerful, successful, or influential—is truly fearless. Fear is part of leadership. The difference is that great leaders don’t run from it. They lean into it.

Take Elon Musk. You might think of him as a fearless innovator, but rewind to the early days of Tesla—on the brink of bankruptcy, investors pulling out, employees questioning whether the company would even survive. He admitted he was terrified. But instead of pretending he had it all figured out, he told his team, “We’re not giving up. We’ll figure this out together.”

That wasn’t fearlessness. That was courage.

And courage is different from fearlessness. Courage is feeling the fear and leading anyway.

Contrast that with the classic “fearless” leader—the one who never admits uncertainty, never changes their mind, never says, “I was wrong.” You know the type. They bulldoze through decisions, pretend to have all the answers, and hold onto control like a life raft.

How’s that working out for them?

History is littered with so-called fearless leaders who crumbled under their own egos. Take Kodak’s executives in the early 2000s—when digital photography was on the rise, employees warned them: “We need to pivot.” But the top brass, convinced of their own invincibility, refused to adapt. The result? A multi-billion-dollar empire… gone.

Fearlessness doesn’t make great leaders. Adaptability does. Humility does. The willingness to say, “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out.”

So the next time you hear someone say, “Great leaders are fearless,”—remember this: the strongest leaders aren’t the ones who never feel fear. They’re the ones who never let fear stop them.

CLARITY IS KINDNESS

Here’s something you don’t hear every day: Being vague is cruel. Being clear is kind.

Sounds counterintuitive, right? We often think that softening our words, dancing around the truth, or avoiding hard conversations is the polite thing to do. We don’t want to hurt feelings. We don’t want to be the bad guy.

But let’s be real—how often has unclear communication led to confusion, frustration, or worse… total disaster?

Think about a boss who gives you feedback like this: “You need to step up.”

Okay… but what does that actually mean? More hours? More creativity? Faster work? Without clarity, you’re left guessing, second-guessing, and—most likely—spiraling into frustration.

Now imagine instead: “I need you to take ownership of this project. That means meeting deadlines without reminders and communicating any roadblocks ahead of time.”

No guessing. No mind-reading. Just clarity.

Brené Brown puts it best: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

Because when leaders aren’t clear, they’re not sparing people’s feelings—they’re setting them up to fail.

Look at Netflix. They have one of the most radical feedback cultures in corporate history. Employees are encouraged to give direct, honest feedback—no sugarcoating, no passive-aggressive emails, no “let’s circle back” nonsense. If something isn’t working, they say it. Clearly.

Why? Because clarity removes anxiety. It builds trust. It creates a culture where people know where they stand and what’s expected of them.

Now, contrast that with a leader who’s afraid to be direct. Maybe they’re avoiding conflict. Maybe they think they’re being nice by dodging tough conversations. But in reality? They’re making everything worse.

Ever had a boss who wouldn’t tell you why you didn’t get the promotion? Or a manager who suddenly started treating you differently, but wouldn’t say what the problem was? That’s what unclear leadership looks like. And it’s not kindness—it’s cowardice.

If you want to lead—whether it’s a company, a team, or even just yourself—ditch the vagueness. Say what you mean. Set clear expectations. Because when you do… you’re not just being an effective leader.

You’re being a kind one.

TRUST IS BUILT IN SMALL MOMENTS

Trust.

It’s the foundation of every great relationship—between leaders and teams, between businesses and customers, between you and the people who rely on you.

But here’s the thing about trust: it’s not built in grand, sweeping gestures. It’s not built in company-wide speeches, all-hands meetings, or flashy mission statements.

Trust is built in the smallest, quietest, most ordinary moments.

Think about the last time you truly trusted someone. Was it because they made some bold, dramatic promise? Or was it because, time and time again, they showed up when they said they would?

Let’s take Warren Buffett—the man people trust with billions of dollars. Do you know why he’s so trusted? Because he’s consistent. He doesn’t make wild, unpredictable moves. He communicates openly with his investors. He doesn’t chase trends—he plays the long game. His trustworthiness isn’t built on one big decision. It’s built on decades of small, reliable ones.

Now, let’s flip that.

Have you ever worked with someone who said all the right things… but deep down, you just didn’t trust them? Maybe they were charming, maybe they made big promises, but something felt off.

Chances are, it wasn’t about one thing they did—it was about the little things they didn’t do. The meetings they canceled last minute. The deadlines they quietly missed. The times they said, “I’ll get back to you,” and never did.

Brené Brown breaks trust down into something called the BRAVING framework—seven tiny behaviors that determine whether you can truly trust someone.

• Boundaries – They respect limits. They don’t overstep.
• Reliability – They do what they say they’ll do.
• Accountability – They own their mistakes.
• Vault – They keep your secrets. No gossip, no betrayal.
• Integrity – They choose what’s right over what’s easy.
• Non-judgment – You can be honest with them without fear.
• Generosity – They assume the best in people.

Now think about the people you trust the most. They’re probably strong in every one of these areas.

And the people you don’t trust? Chances are, they’ve broken at least one.

Take Google’s leadership. Employees there trust their leaders not because of the perks or the brand name, but because of transparency. Leadership openly shares company plans, decisions, even setbacks. There’s no backroom secrecy. And that openness creates trust—one Slack message, one honest email, one clear decision at a time.

Trust isn’t a title. It’s not something you demand. It’s something you earn—slowly, patiently, through the smallest, most consistent actions.

And the moment you break it? It’s gone.

DARING VS. ARMORED LEADERSHIP

There are two kinds of leaders in the world.

The first kind wears armor. Thick, impenetrable, polished to perfection. They walk into every room with their guard up, never admitting doubt, never showing weakness, never letting anyone see behind the curtain.

And then… there’s the other kind. The ones who don’t hide behind a shield. The ones who step into leadership without armor—open, vulnerable, and willing to get their hands dirty.

Which one do you think is actually more powerful?

Most people assume that leaders should be untouchable. That the best CEOs, executives, and decision-makers should operate like warriors—strong, fearless, infallible. But here’s the problem…

That kind of leadership? It’s fragile. It cracks under pressure.

Take Blockbuster—a corporate giant that refused to adapt. Executives were warned about the rise of Netflix, but instead of listening, they doubled down on their outdated model. They armored up—insisting they knew best, refusing to acknowledge they were wrong.

And where are they now? Gone.

Now look at Satya Nadella, the CEO of Microsoft. When he took over, Microsoft was in decline—rigid, bureaucratic, stuck in the past. But instead of clinging to control, he did the opposite: he admitted Microsoft had lost its way. He embraced curiosity over certainty. Instead of pretending to have all the answers, he asked more questions.

And guess what? Microsoft transformed into an innovation powerhouse.

Brené Brown calls this the difference between Armored Leadership and Daring Leadership.

Armored Leaders:

• Avoid tough conversations.
• Use perfectionism as a shield.
• See feedback as an attack.
• Lead with fear instead of trust.

Daring Leaders:

• Have the hard conversations—even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Admit when they’re wrong—even when it’s hard.
• See feedback as a tool for growth—not as a threat.
• Lead with courage, not control.

Think about the leaders you’ve worked with. The bosses you admired versus the ones you feared.

The best ones weren’t the ones who acted like they had all the answers. They were the ones who created an environment where you felt safe to take risks, speak up, and innovate.

So here’s the truth: the strongest leaders aren’t the ones who build the highest walls. They’re the ones who have the courage to take them down.

WHY CURIOSITY WINS OVER DEFENSIVENESS

What happens when a leader is questioned?

Do they lean in… or do they shut down?

Because in that moment, you can tell exactly what kind of leader they are.

There are two ways to respond when faced with tough feedback or uncertainty. One leads to growth. The other leads to failure.

Defensive leaders see questions as threats. They hear feedback and immediately feel attacked. Their instinct is to push back, to prove they’re right, to dismiss criticism.

And then… there are the great leaders.

They don’t react with fear. They react with curiosity. Instead of thinking, “How do I defend myself?” they ask, “What can I learn from this?”

Take Reed Hastings, the CEO of Netflix.

When Netflix introduced its disastrous Qwikster DVD rental spin-off in 2011, the backlash was immediate. Customers hated it. Stock prices dropped.

A defensive leader would have doubled down. Ignored the criticism. Insisted that the plan was right and the customers were wrong.

Instead, Hastings did something radical—he admitted Netflix had made a mistake. Publicly. He listened to customer feedback, scrapped the Qwikster plan, and refocused Netflix on streaming.

Result? Netflix rebounded, became stronger than ever, and set the stage for global dominance.

Now, contrast that with Blockbuster. They also had an opportunity to listen—to recognize streaming as the future. But instead, they got defensive. They dismissed Netflix as a fad. They refused to question their own outdated business model.

And we all know how that ended.

This isn’t just about billion-dollar companies. It’s about everyday leadership.

A defensive boss shuts down employee concerns, seeing them as complaints rather than insights. A curious boss asks, “What am I missing?”

A defensive team leader ignores feedback from clients, assuming they know best. A curious team leader asks, “How can we improve?”

A defensive person in any role is focused on being right.

A curious person is focused on getting it right.

Brené Brown says, “I am here to get it right, not to be right.”

That’s the mindset shift that separates leaders who evolve from those who fade into irrelevance.

So the question is… which one are you?

Are you the leader who protects their ego? Or the one who protects their ability to grow?

Because at the end of the day, the strongest leaders aren’t the ones with all the answers.

They’re the ones who never stop asking better questions.

CONCLUSION

So here we are. We’ve broken down the myths, shattered old ideas, and exposed what real leadership actually looks like.

It’s not about fearlessness. It’s about courage.

It’s not about vagueness. It’s about clarity.

It’s not about grand gestures. It’s about small moments of trust.

It’s not about control. It’s about curiosity.

And now, the real question isn’t what you’ve learned—it’s what you’re going to do with it.

Because leadership isn’t a title. It’s not something you become—it’s something you practice. Every conversation. Every decision. Every moment.

So ask yourself:

• Where have you been armoring up instead of leaning in?
• When was the last time you chose curiosity over defensiveness?
• How can you start building trust in the small moments—starting today?

Because that—right there—is the difference between a leader people follow and a leader people fear.

And if you’ve made it this far, if this message resonates with you, then maybe you’re already on the path to becoming the kind of leader the world actually needs.